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(For more recipes, see the main blog)

Truth be told, I'm pretty bad at a lot of things. Romance, snowboarding, watching shows with laugh tracks, paying attention to anything somebody says after the word "literally", and a few other things I can't remember right now.


But I'm a pretty good cook. 


Possibly because my Mom was such a bad cook, and I was forced to learn advanced kitchen sorcery at age seven, to survive. Just kidding Mom. Kind of. 


But mainly, because, as a guy committed to a ketogenic lifestyle, I am forced to experiment in the kitchen with somewhat limited items when I get hungry, or bored of steak and pork rinds, or drunk, versus hitting up Taco Bell or ordering stuffed crust meatball pizza. 


I mean, how hard is it to make carbs taste good? Pop-Tarts? Count Chocula? Doritos and a PB&J? Hell, even Hot Pockets are kind of delicious in a weird way. Ever wonder why Olive Garden still exists? Because its easy to make shitty food taste good when its 90% carbs. 


But I'd rather leave those "foods" to the IIFYM'ers and help my readers learn how to cook real meals that taste great, fit a LCHF lifestyle, and also happen to be super easy to prepare. None of my recipes will take a chemistry degree to navigate, nor will they likely end up on a "Nailed it!" buzzfeed list.


Final note before I shut up so you can cook, I've written most of the prep instructions in a conversational tone, and by that, I mean, a conversation one would have with me, so expect some weirdness, irreverence, and  occasional Patrick Bateman references peppered in. Because, reading online recipes is super boring, like the edible version of putting together IKEA furniture. F that noise.


Let's have some fun and cook some awesome food. 

Low-Carb Pizza So Good It's Stupid

15-20 minutes

Chocolate Brownie Keto Pancakes

10-15 minutes

Home Made Keto Pili Nut Milk (chocolate and vanilla, with video)

10-15 minutes

Trader Joe's Carnitas in Tomato Sauce

15 minutes

Keto Fat Bombs

10min prep/45min chill

Quest Protein Chip Nachos

15 minutes


19 seconds

Hot Dogs for Grown-Ups

25 minutes

Keto Grilled Cheese

10 minutes

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